Have you ever thought having a drink helps you relax and sleep better? Stay tuned to learn more about how alcohol affects your sleep, other aspects of your life, and what you can do about it. My guest today has been featured on NBC News, Good Morning America, The New York Times, NPR, CNN, and Huffington Post.

Stay tuned. You’re in for a treat. 

  I’m Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. If you’re ready to take control of your health, you’re in the right  place. Whether you’re focused on prevention or you’re trying to manage a condition. I’ll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.

 Today I have a special guest on the Healthy Looks Great On You podcast. I have Casey Davidson from Hello Someday Coaching, and she is a sobriety coach for women. And on her website, she particularly says That she can help you sleep through the night and wake up rested. So welcome Casey. 

 Casey: Oh, thank you. I’m so excited to be here. 

Dr. Vickie: Well, you know I’m doing a series right now on sleep and I definitely talk about how alcohol affects sleep and I know a lot of people think taking a drink helps them relax and go to sleep, but I’d love to hear your insight on that.  

Casey: Absolutely. Well, alcohol is really terrible for your sleep. It’s, it’s this weird combination of both a depressant and a stimulant. So once you drink even as little as one drink for women, it really impacts your sleep quality, there have been studies done that even a small amount of alcohol impacts your sleep. So for women, which is one drink, it decreases your sleep quality by 24 percent and anything more than one drink for women decreases your sleep quality by 40%. So  it’s really incredible.  

Dr. Vickie: And do you think women notice that or they’re just feeling the effects of poor mood and maybe fatigue and they don’t even realize that’s what’s contributing?

Casey: I think it depends. I used to drink quite a bit. I was kind of the woman who was working in corporate and had two little kids and came home and opened up a bottle of wine when I got home to cook dinner. And I actually was drinking about a bottle of wine a night most nights of the week. So anyone who drinks like I did typically wakes up at three in the morning, feeling just crushing anxiety, your heart racing, and have trouble going back to sleep. I think anyone who doesn’t drink the way that I drank will notice when they stop drinking how good they feel and how good they sleep without alcohol, even if it’s just one or two glasses at a time.

Dr. Vickie: And since the pandemic particularly, we’ve really seen an increase in the amount of alcohol  with men and women and so you have particularly targeted the mommy wine culture. So, can you tell us a little bit about that? 

Casey: Absolutely. I mean what’s interesting is the biggest increase in binge drinkers right now are midlife women with the highest  socioeconomic status. So we have been sold throughout our lives the idea that wine is sophisticated and it helps us relax and it helps us connect. And there have been some really interesting articles in the Atlantic, for example, they wrote about how stress drinking has a divide. And so women drink to relieve stress significantly more than men. A lot of the marketing that has gone in the alcohol industry is targeted to women because they need to increase their market share and their bottom line. And starting 20 years ago, mothers in in particular were targeted. So you will even see, bottles of wine with the names, “Mommy Time Out.” And, you know, there’s, “Skinny Girl Vodka,” and “Mommy’s Little Helper.” Wine is is really the modern woman’s steroid. And so we get used to drinking on a regular basis. more and more and more.

And when I was a new mom, I felt like drinking was a way that I could reclaim some portion of of my pre kid personality.  I was no longer having a lot of time to see my friends or go to the gym or go kayaking or hiking. So I could drink and I could multitask, right? So I could drink and play Legos. I could drink and play Candy Land.

And a lot of motherhood is pretty monotonous and difficult, and it sort of becomes your main reward.  

Dr. Vickie: That’s so interesting and marketing really works. I am excited that recently the Surgeon General has come out with potentially putting a cancer warning on alcohol because there are a lot of new studies showing that even a small amount can increase the risk of cancer. There was a season where we thought drinking a glass of red wine every day was actually good for your heart. And that has been really questioned.

Casey: It’s been completely disproven. And a lot of those studies were actually sponsored by the alcohol industry.  I remember the French paradox, out on 60 minutes and this is decades ago, but the idea that people who drank alcohol in moderation were actually healthier than those who didn’t drink at all. Turns out the study was completely flawed. The people in the control group, meaning didn’t drink at all, didn’t drink largely because either they used to drink a lot or they had medical issues to start with.  But that idea was promoted and took hold. The American Cancer Society finally came out a few years ago saying no amount of alcohol is healthy, that alcohol is linked to seven different kinds of cancer. Drinking. three glasses of wine or three drinks a week for women increases your risk of breast cancer by 15 percent and anything over that increases another 10%, every additional glass of of wine, which completely counteracts the idea that one drink a day for women is perfectly healthy. The truth is it’s not. but I don’t know if when I was drinking that would have convinced me to stop.  

Dr. Vickie: Well, that’s interesting because we have seen a cultural shift. There used to be  events where there wasn’t alcohol served and that’s becoming less common. I think that the drinking culture has really exponentially increased. So if it wasn’t the health risk that would have made you stop, what was your motivation?  

Casey: Well, I have to say that I was always a drinker, ever since I got to college. I joined the women’s rugby team where binge drinking was celebrated. And then I used alcohol to shut off my brain. I was very much a gold star straight A girl who had a lot of fear of not doing well. When I drank, I could let all of that go. So  drinking for me was fun. It was actually part of my personality. I felt like it was sort of integral to  the type of person I was and stopping drinking completely was my worst nightmare, literally my worst case scenario in life. So  I thought for a very long time that I needed to get ahold of my drinking, that I needed to be able to moderate more successfully so that I would never have to stop completely.  And,  the more I tried to moderate, meaning I made all the rules, like I’ll only have two drinks tonight. I will only drink beer because I like red wine better. I will only drink when I’m home. So I won’t be out of the bar. I’ll only drink when I’m out. Cause I go out less often. The more I tried to do that, the more I realized that it was not working at all. All of my rules, I could not successfully drink less on a consistent basis. Or if I did, I was super irritated and white knuckling it. And at the same time,  my anxiety was off the chart. I would wake up with this sort of low grade hangover every day. I would have to overcompensate to fit in everything I needed to do to still get, you know, the straight A version of an adult in a lot fewer hours.

I started listening to podcasts and started reading books and joining groups. And then finally decided to take a longer break from alcohol.I got to 100 days and I felt so much better. I decided to extend it to six months and then a year. And once it got to a year, I was like, you know what? I think I’m done drinking, because  I realized that I didn’t need it and that I felt so much better and happier without it.

Dr. Vickie: That is so interesting. And I think that’s true of so many substances, even something like sugar. You don’t realize how bad it’s making you feel until you can get through that period where you get over your cravings and realize how much better you feel without it. But it sounds like to me that you had a real identity shift. With drinking, denial is a huge part of the process. And so it’s interesting that you just were listening to podcasts and now you are a coach for other women. 

Casey: I think the shift is really changing throughout society. It’s, it’s starting with the younger generation. So Gen Z is the leading factor in the sober curious movement. They drink 30 percent less than their parents or grandparents did at the same age. Millennials are also on board with being sober curious, which means  considering what your life would be like without drinking, taking periods of time, alcohol free, trying non alcoholic beer and wine, or just trying to drink more mindfully.

The older generations, I’m Gen X, who sort of came into adulthood with the idea that red wine was good for your heart. And Baby Boomers are the absolute biggest drinkers. So now it’s more normalized to do dry January, to do dry July, to stop drinking for a period of time. And people don’t question it as much as they used to. Whereas for a long time, I would say 10 years ago, if you took a break from drinking  and you were a drinker, people would pretty much be like, what’s going on?  Do you have a problem? Are you pregnant? Just have one. You need to relax. We’ll have more fun. Like  there there was a lot of pressure to keep drinking. 

Dr. Vickie: I agree with that. So, what would you say to a young woman, a young mom, or even anyone else in another range of age to get started if they are sober curious?   

Casey: I always encourage anyone who’s thinking about this to try to take a longer break from drinking. When you are drinking, it becomes a habit and it becomes an emotional practice in terms of how you connect with your friends or your spouse or how you hang out with your colleagues or bond with other mothers. And you don’t realize how much it impacts every aspect of your life. Whenever you drink alcohol, it spikes your dopamine really high. And so your body actually regulates your normal level of dopamine, your happy hormone lower. So even if you just drink twice a week, you are less happy than you would be if you were not drinking at all.

It messes with your mood regulation. So you are less emotionally stable than you would be, if you weren’t drinking at all. It impacts your energy and your ability to work out. It messes with your sleep. So taking 30 days off drinking  is a really great way to evaluate how alcohol is impacting all the the aspects of your life,

You will notice just in one month that you have less brain fog, that you have more energy, your skin will be brighter, your eyes will be brighter. You will sleep better. So there are all these benefits to it, but you will also realize that you can go through a Friday night without drinking and that you can hang out with your partner and have a date without drinking and that it’s still good. So that’s a practice to bring awareness to all these beliefs we have about alcohol.

And in my coaching practice, a lot of the approach is to look at it like habit formation and break that. So the idea of keep the ritual, change the ingredients. There are fantastic non alcoholic beverages out there. there’s non alcoholic beer that is, you know, taking the world by storm. There is is non alcoholic Prosecco. There’s all these non alcoholic drinks, mocktails that you  will see all around you. And then you can institute new habits. How do you want to wind down at the end of the night? , If you’re stressed, if you’re lonely, what are other ways to meet those needs?

And you will learn something about yourself if you do that.  

Dr. Vickie: That’s so powerful. And I think self discovery is a huge part of it, but I have to say, I’m glad you brought up dopamine because I always take my listeners to mini medical school. So what I want you to know about dopamine is that it affects the pleasure center of the brain, and it is in the exact same location as the pain center of the brain. When you’re using any substance, and that dopamine level starts to drop, you experience extreme discomfort without the substance. And so, it’s a weird upside down balance of, you’re drinking to increase your dopamine levels, but then you have to drink because your dopamine levels go down so low and dopamine is a huge part of addiction. And I just want to ask you that, are we talking about addiction? Because you talk a lot about a dry period, an alcohol free period. What if someone can’t stop?

Casey: There are are different levels. of using and withdrawing from a substance. In medical terms, it’s called substance use disorder and there are variations of mild, moderate or severe.

What I love about the sober curious movement is anyone can decide to take a break or drink less or evaluate the way that alcohol is impacting their life and their social life. And  it is good  and you will learn something and there’s was no judgment around it. Now, if you are drinking more often or more heavily, it is hard to take a break without some sort of support. So I actually stopped using sober coach. I worked with her, emailing her every day.  A lot of it was the block and tackling of, I’m having an awful day at work. I really want a drink. And her kind of being like, all right, you don’t have to drink though. You can go home and you can cuddle up with your kid or watch a show or go for a run or whatever it is. Just that encouragement to to get through those cravings and the ideas of of like what do I say to people? What will they think if I don’t drink? How will I have a night out with my husband?

A lot of this is sort of just day by day getting through those, those moments when you would drink.  Withdrawal, if you are physically addicted to alcohol, is incredibly dangerous. So, if you’re at the point where you are physically addicted or you are worried about it beyond, I had a lot of hangovers, you really should work with a medical professional for a detox because it can be fatal.

Dr. Vickie: I’m glad you brought that up. But I do think dealing with those triggers and cravings is so important and I love that you mentioned using alternative ways to deal with the things that are going to set that trigger off. Do you have any top five suggestions on winding down or mitigating that?

Casey: What’s interesting is in the beginning, the biggest trigger is hunger, which is kind of of funny and counterintuitive. So when I’m working with women and they are taking a a break from drinking, they’re going from day one to day five to day seven to two weeks, I really encourage them to set an alarm for 3:30 or four, to, eat something with protein. So you are not going into the witching hour or getting dinner or driving home from the office when you are you are hungry. Cause that is a huge trigger to drink.

The other thing I really encourage women to do is to get all the alcohol out of the house. So you can talk to your partner about this. I mean, our partners support us in many things. When I stopped drinking, red wine was my sort  of kryptonite. So I told him I needed no wine at the house because I really love drinking.

And I knew it would be hard for me, like the elephant in the room, just constantly wearing me down. So he drank beer. We just just got all the wine out of the house. So that is sort of a visual cue seeing alcohol around you that triggers a craving to drink. So if you get rid of the visual cue and and you get rid of the ability to have that quick reward, meaning grab a  bottle, grab a drink, open it and have it hit your bloodstream. That gives you the chance to move through it. I mean, most cravings really only last 20 minutes. You can time them. Like I really want to drink, you eat something, you distract yourself. You can time when that craving goes away. So I would say hunger, getting the the visual cues and the easy access to alcohol out of your house, your; your visual field. And then  also identifying why you want to drink. So  if you  are just taking a break and you’re not used to it, I always tell women, if they tell me they don’t have a craving to drink in the first two weeks, like I won’t believe them. It just doesn’t happen.

So in the beginning, you really need that physical break from being able to hit that reward.  But after that, it’s emotional most of the time. So it’s  really important to lower the bar and to stay away from stress and overwhelm and drama.

But when you  want to drink first thing, eat something. But the second question is why? Why do you want to drink? Are you bored? Are you resentful? Are you irritated? Are you lonely?  All of those things you can solve for in different ways. And once you identify the emotion of why you want to drink, maybe you want to celebrate and want to take it even higher, then you you can problem solve for other ways to meet that need.  

D.r Vickie: I love that. That’s really impactful. Those are some very practical steps that people can take. And I will just tell you the same could be said about chocolate chips. If I’ve got chocolate chips in the pantry, they’re calling my name and I’ll go in there and have a little handful. But if I don’t have any chocolate chips, the pantry, I’m not going to eat chocolate. Availability is huge, whether it’s snack food or alcohol or anything else.

We call those self binding techniques. And they work. They really do work, but they don’t work in isolation. You have to implement these other things. And so tell me about the benefit of having a coach. Is this a one on one coaching that you do? Do you do group coaching? 

Casey: Yeah, I actually I did one on one for many years. I worked with over 150 women one on one. And then I have an online program. It’s called the Sobriety Starter Kit that basically takes my one on one format and and practices and puts it in an online program that you can access and have in your back pocket at any time. It’s designed to take women from day one to 106 months, a year and beyond, and give them the tools to do that. As part of that, I have an online community where I’m in there every single day and I  do group coaching as part of that as well. So, it’s really important to realize that you are not alone in this and have really practical and positive and  empowering ways to reframe your habits and your thinking about alcohol to make those changes. 

Dr. Vickie: The power of community cannot be overstated. No matter what you’re dealing with, the power of community is so important.  Well, I am so excited to know about your business and your coaching. And I’ll put the links to all of that in the show notes so that any of our listeners can check that out.

And I appreciate you sharing all your words of wisdom with us. 

Casey: Thank you so much, Vickie,  I’m happy to be here.

  Dr. Vickie: Wow. Wasn’t that fantastic? If you are sober curious and you are interested in checking out Casey Davidson’s website, you can find her at Hello Someday Coaching. She offers her sobriety starter kit. She has a podcast and lots of resources on her blog. So if you’re interested in cutting back on your drinking, then this is a fantastic resource for you.

Check out the link in the show notes.  If insomnia is more your problem, then you’re going to want to check out six surprising reasons you’re tossing and turning. That’s my upcoming free live sleep masterclass on March 3rd, 5th and 8th. Registration is required and there’s a link in the show notes or you can go to my website. 

   RESOURCES:

Hello Someday Coaching with Casey Davidson

Hello Someday Podcast

Six Surprising Reasons You’re Tossing and Turning

The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change