The stomach virus, COVID, cold, flu, RSV and whooping cough are going around. We’re in the thick of germ season.

Dr. Vickie Petz Kasper tells you the truth about how germs spread and how you can stay well and avoid catching them. 

Tis the season to be coughing, catching all the germs and getting sick.  Whew, there really is a lot going around right now. So how can you keep from getting sick? 

You’ve probably heard that the stomach bug is going around. The most common cause is the Norovirus. And January is typically flu and RSV season, and COVID levels are high.

All three are increasing and this is not unexpected. Why is that? Well, because of all the travel and family gatherings, the number of people you are in close contact with on a daily basis usually consists of your immediate family, friends, and co workers. But over the river and through the woods, all those germs are coming to gather at Grandmother’s house to spread like wildfire. 

 In this special edition episode, we’re going to talk about how these six infections spread and what you can do to prevent it. But first, we need to go to mini medical school and learn about viruses and bacteria.  Pop quiz! Of the six diseases I mentioned, all but one is a virus. Do you know which one is caused by a bacteria? Norovirus, the common cold, flu, RSV, whooping cough, or COVID. Not sure? Well, listen close. I’ll tell you as we review each one.

But first, some basics. What is a virus? Well, it’s a fragment of genetic information like DNA or RNA, and it’s inside this protective shell that’s called a capsid. And a lot of them look like a ball with these spiky things on it. They don’t have any cells, and they’re tiny. Their goal is to perpetuate, and they need a host to reproduce. And humans, well, we’re so hospitable. We work great. First they attach to their host, and then they enter the host, and then they start replicating inside the host. Then they assemble more viral particles and whoosh, release them. And that, my friends, is a very, very brief overview and simplistic overview of how they make you sick.  

One more thing. If you have a viral infection, an antibiotic will not do one frazzling bit of good. And that’s what it says in all the medical textbooks, “Not one frazzling bit of good.” And I know you want an antibiotic because you’ve got a lot of things to do and you want to get well fast. If you go to urgent care, you can probably snag a Z Pak pretty easily. But, if you have a viral infection, it won’t do one frazzling bit of good.

Now, why am I so passionate about that? I’ll get to it in a sec, but let’s first talk about bacteria. They’re different.

Bacteria are also tiny, but they have a single living cell. Some bacteria are actually good, and they keep you healthy.  And that’s why taking an antibiotic when you don’t need one is bad for you. Because if you kill off all the bacteria in your gut, that upsets the gut microbiome  for a long, long time. And what happens in the gut microbiome? Well, that’s where neurotransmitters are made and where the immune system is regulated. I have some links in the show notes from previous episodes if you want to learn more about how the gut actually affects your brain and your mood.  Now, on the other hand, if you do have a bacterial infection, you need an antibiotic. Okay? Got it? Antibiotics are for bacteria, not viruses.

Let’s move on, starting with the stomach bug, which really isn’t a bug at all. And I bet you already guessed that the stomach virus is caused by one of those spiky little pieces of genetic material that needs you to be its host. 

The most common cause of the stomach virus is the Norovirus, and this one spreads easily, so it’s super contagious. People with Norovirus infection can shed billions of invisible viral particles. That’s billions, but it only takes a few to make you sick. And it doesn’t really seem fair to stack the deck that way, especially since the end result is diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, and stomach cramps, and possibly headache, body aches, and fever.

You get it from sick people, contaminated food or water, and surfaces. Now that last one’s really important, and that’s the reason that I always, always use the little wipes. to wipe down the handlebar of the grocery cart and I wash my hands as soon as I can.  And once you’re exposed to the Norovirus, it takes about 12 to 48 hours to get sick. So it usually makes the runs through the household pretty quickly. You can get infected with Norovirus by ingesting little bitty tiny pieces of feces or vomit from an infected person. Yeah, mom and dad. That’s why you’re at risk when little Johnny brings this home from school. All that barehanded cleaning and caring for your sick splattering little one puts you at risk for going down for the count, too.

Your biggest defense is wash your hands. with soap and water. Wash them often, and wash them good. And keep your hands out of your mouth, eyes, and nose.  This virus grows really nicely in big Petri dishes, otherwise known as cruise ships. And that’s why they installed 974 hand sanitizer stations right in front of the food troughs. Hand sanitizer doesn’t really work that great for this particular virus. Turns out good old fashioned hand washing is much better. So, maybe that cart wiping isn’t doing much good, but it certainly won’t hurt. Anyway, be careful what you touch and keep it out of your mouth and nose, and wash your hands.

Now let’s move on to the common cold. Quick question, virus or bacteria? You got it. Virus. Specifically the rhino virus. And remember, rhino means nose  and it’s also a type of Corona virus.  That’s right. Corona virus first identified in the 1960s and effectively killed by Lysol. Says it right there on the label.  Next question. If the common cold is caused by a virus, will an antibiotic help you recover faster? Nope. Can it hurt?  I hope you said yes, and if not, go ahead and hit rewind.

The symptoms of a cold usually last less than a week, but can last up to two weeks. And they include runny, stuffy nose, headache, body aches, sore throat, fever, coughing, and sneezing. There’s a link in the show notes on how to differentiate a cold from allergies.

Different viruses are spread in different ways. The common cold is spread through droplets from an infected person and they find you when that person coughs or sneezes. You can breathe them in or you can get infected by touching a contaminated surface then touching your eyes, nose, or mouth. That’s why it’s recommended that you cough or sneeze into your elbow. Because if you cover your mouth and nose with your hands and then shake hands or touch something or a surface, then the virus uses that as an opportunity to hitch a ride onto someone else’s hands. Then, if they touch their eyes, nose, or mouth, they’re infected. So wash your hands and keep them out of your mouth, eyes, and nose.  

Another virus that spreads by droplets is influenza. These droplets are spread when people with flu cough, sneeze, or even talk. You can also get it from touching surfaces than touching your mouth, nose, or eyes, but that’s actually less common. Most of the time you catch it directly from another person. These little viral particles are within droplets that land right in your mouth or nose. And, relatively speaking, these droplets are kind of big. They’re greater than 5 microns in diameter, so they don’t really travel far because gravity just pulls them to the ground within about 3 feet.

Now, once you’re exposed, the virus goes to work pretty quickly and you typically get sick a couple of days later. Now, flu season is definitely upon us and it’s spreading. When I was young, my mom had the flu and she said, She thought she was going to die and kind of hoped she would. Now personally, I don’t ever recall having the flu. But it’s serious. It can be fatal. And there are lots of different types of flu, and some cause more severe illness than others. So far this year, there have been 9 pediatric deaths, and it’s early in the season. 3. 1 million cases of flu have been reported, resulting in 37, 000 hospitalizations and 15, 000 deaths.

According to the CDC, flu is on the rise.  How do they know? Let’s take a look at how the data is collected because it might surprise you.  They look at emergency room visits, hospitalizations, and the number of tests done for certain diseases and the percent positivity. And there are benchmarks for those. But that wouldn’t really give us a total picture, would it? Because some people don’t go to the doctor or the hospital. 

Want to know a secret?   They’re looking at your poop. No, not yours individually, but collectively. They study wastewater and test feces for these viruses. I mean, it’s kind of brilliant, albeit really gross.  They even have a poop dashboard. Of course, they have a more sanitized named for it. It’s a Wastewater data. There’s a link in the show notes if you’re interested or if you don’t believe me. And honestly, it’s pretty fascinating if you’re ready to geek out. I just wonder if they advertise on LinkedIn, looking for a CPA, a chief poop analyst. Qualifications must understand virology, statistics, and have a high tolerance for gross things. And maybe they got the idea from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Who knows?

Okay, enough of that.  Now we call influenza flu for short and moving on, we call respiratory Syntcial virus, RSV for short. And the normal RSV season is late fall to winter, though that, again was thrown out with a lot of other things during the pandemic. 

Wanna guess how it spreads? Just like the flu and the common cold, RSV spreads through droplets. You already knew it was a virus, I mean, it’s right there in the title. But, it’s the same old viral tactic. Somebody who’s infected coughs or sneezes, the droplet travels the short distance between you, and  you breathe it in.

This virus can survive on hard surfaces like door handles and tables for many hours. So, if you touch it and introduce it into your mouth, nose, or eyes, It can spread that way. It can also live on your hands or a used tissue, but not for very long. So what should you do?  That’s right. Wash your hands and don’t touch your face.

Now, this is important. RSV can infect anyone at any age and more than once in their lifetime. In fact, nearly everyone gets it before their second birthday. But here’s the deal. Babies can get really sick from it. And you can give it to them by kissing their face. So yeah, Grandma, this is one reason that new moms tell you, Don’t kiss my baby.

The other is the herpes virus, which causes fever blisters, but it can be fatal to newborns.  RSV can cause severe illness, hospitalization, pneumonia, and death in older adults too. So if you’re sick, stay at home. Seriously, don’t share your germs. When it comes to respiratory viruses, clean air also helps. That means HEPA filters for indoor air, or if you live in the South, you can probably open some windows except maybe those 13 or so days when we get bitter cold and ice. Anyway, just wash your hands and cover your mouth and nose when you cough or sneeze, spray the Lysol, keep your distance, wipe down the surfaces.

There’s just not a lot of variety in these recommendations and following them just might protect a vulnerable little baby or a precious elderly grandma. And that logically helps me segue to COVID. You knew we were going to talk about COVID, didn’t you?

Transmission rates are really high right now. And here’s a test I bet you’ll ace. Is COVID a bacteria or a virus?  Bingo. Let’s go a step further. COVID 19 is a coronavirus. And remember, there are lots of different kinds, but there is something very unique about COVID, and that is how it’s spread. And hopefully you already know this, but let me remind you that COVID 19 is not spread the same way as the common cold, RSV, or the flu.

And this is one of the things that made it so scary and dangerous. You see, COVID is airborne. Instead of hanging out in big heavy droplets that fall quickly to the floor, it floats along through the air. So you can literally get it from someone who isn’t even in the same room with you. Think about a small bathroom where someone has coughed and then you go in, breathe in the little viral demons and get sick. It even traveled through ventilation systems in heavily populated apartment complexes.

For the most part, the COVID virus spreads among people who are nearby. Basically, talking distance, coughing, sneezing, singing, and even breathing distance. And the louder you talk or sing, the further these little particles travel. We call it aerosolization.  I mean, think about hairspray in an aerosol can. You spray it, it gets on your jewelry, the mirror, your glasses, your husband comes in and starts fanning the air. Except these particles aren’t big enough to declare their presence floating in the air.  Depending on the ventilation, airborne diseases can travel more than six feet and hang around for hours floating in the air. 

Fortunately, there are not a lot of airborne diseases, but there are a few, like tuberculosis and measles. which is also on the rise and will likely continue to increase.  

Remember when we didn’t know how COVID was spread? I traveled to my daughter’s during that time to see my grandbaby and drove eight hours without stopping to eat and only once to get gas and go to the bathroom. I wore gloves and an N95.  I never got into washing my groceries but I did wear an N95 a lot plus I worked in a hospital so there’s that.

Now you can touch a contaminated surface and get COVID through your eyes, mouth, and nose. So do the drill. Wash your hands. Don’t touch your face. But it’s that airborne aspect that made it different. Besides the fact that it was a novel coronavirus and we just didn’t have any immunity.  

The pandemic highlighted the need for America to get healthy too. Obesity was associated with poorer outcomes. And now we have GLP 1 agonists, which are helping people control obesity because it’s so much more than willpower and determination. I put a link in the show notes about GLP 1 agonist and obesity, but listen, we still need to be physically active and eat whole food. 

Now, we’ve talked about five viruses, Norovirus, rhinovirus that causes the common cold, influenza, RSV, and COVID, but what about whooping cough? Virus or bacteria?  You guessed it, whooping cough is caused by Pertussis Bordetella. And this bacteria is very contagious. It spreads easily through the air when someone coughs. And boy, do they cough. Sounds like a big wheeze before this violent coughing fit and a shower of germs. It lasts a long time and people are contagious for two weeks. And that cough can linger for months.

You may be wondering, if it’s a bacteria, should you take an antibiotic? And the answer is yes. But, for this one, you’ve got to take them early.  Not everyone gets that classic whoop. that gives it its name. Some people just get a little tickle and a cough and maybe they don’t even know they’re sick or their doctor tells them they have bronchitis or a sinus infection. And those are the ones you’ve got to watch out for because they can spread it.

And like RSV in babies, it can be life threatening. Babies don’t cough, they quit breathing. And one third of infants less than one year old who get whooping cough require hospitalization. Wow, that’s serious. And that is why, when I was practicing obstetrics, I always recommended that my pregnant patients and everyone who was going to be around the newborn get a booster shot called Tdap. It stands for tetanus, diphtheria, acellular pertussis.

Now let me stop right there. And I want you to hear me.  I really wanted to do this episode because promoting health is the whole goal of this podcast. I want to give you information, motivation, inspiration. to take measures to protect and improve your health.

When it comes to seasonal illnesses, it’s important to have a good baseline health and a strong immune system. That means a healthy gut microbiome, a healthy weight, and controlling risk factors like diabetes and hypertension.  I really care about you and I have no intention of wading into controversial waters.

 So, if you have strong emotions when it comes to vaccines, Push stop on this podcast. But I really do care about you and I’m gonna keep this part really short. But if you want to have a further discussion about vaccines, I will literally schedule a call with you.

Just email me, DrVickie@healthylooksgreatonyou.com and we can talk about it. Please don’t send me hate mail, but if you do, I’ll respond with love and grace  because I don’t want this information which is rooted in solid science, evidence, research, medicine, and statistics to interfere with our relationship.  I’m not asking you to respect my opinion or anyone else’s because this is not about opinion and it’s not about respect.  But you see, that is something that changed with the pandemic. Distrust was sown  and maybe deserved. Maybe there was something nefarious, but there was also a lot we just didn’t know. And as we learned and we learned quickly, things changed.

Anyway, talk to your doctor is the best advice I can give you.  I remember when the chicken pox vaccine came out, my son was two years old and he had asthma. And I was a little leery because it was a new vaccine. I talked to my pediatrician and he advised giving it. Two years later, my son’s preschool had to shut down because every single kid had chicken pox. Except my one little vaccinated boy. They even had to cancel preschool graduation because yeah, that’s a thing.

Instead of telling you what I do or what I know or how I feel, let me preface all of this by saying I’ve been a medical doctor for three decades. I was chief medical officer of a hospital for seven years, including the pandemic years, and I know what I saw firsthand. I do a lot of research from reputable sources for each podcast episode. So if you trust me, keep listening, but again, if you have strong feelings, now is the time to stop listening and you can tune back in next week. We’ll pick up on the dementia series and talk about things we can agree on. I mean, we don’t all have to agree on everything to be friends, do we?  

Okay, I already told you that I recommended that all my pregnant patients get Get Tdap to protect their babies, and this is based on recommendations from the CDC, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, all reputable organizations. They also recommend the flu shot.

Now, vaccine reactions are real. but they’re rare. I don’t personally know of a pediatrician who does not vaccinate their children. They see firsthand what these infectious diseases can do.  Now, I’ll admit doctors have various opinions because they have various perspectives and we call that bias. Think about it. If a doctor only works in an outpatient clinic, they may have tons of experience treating some infection and what they do supports their beliefs.  But they don’t know what goes on in the emergency room or the hospital. And the doctors that do have a different bias. And this was especially true during COVID. 

There were a lot of sayings that went around during COVID, like, what about the obesity epidemic? Why are we not talking about that? And I think we should be talking about it. Or what happened to the flu? Did it suddenly disappear? Well, it turns out that social distancing, washing your hands, wearing a mask, avoiding crowded places prevents the flu too.

It’s recommended that everyone over the age of 6 months get a flu shot.  And if you’re concerned about mercury or thimerosal, you’ll be glad to know that single use vials of the flu shot don’t contain any and haven’t in many, many years.

Now, remember I told you that I’ve never had the flu? You see, after my mom had it, she made sure we were vaccinated every year. And I continue to get the flu shot every year. I gave it to my kids every year. It is a killed virus. And you cannot get the flu from the flu shot. And yes, I know, you may have gotten the flu shot and then gotten the flu. And there’s several reasons for that. Number one, the vaccine typically is only between 40 and 50 percent effective. Number two, it takes a couple of weeks before it works, and you might have gotten exposed to the flu right before you got the vaccine or right after before your immunity kicked in. You may also get the flu right after you drink a Coke.  That doesn’t mean the aluminum can caused it, and I’m sorry if that was a little snarky, but correlation does not equal causation, and that’s super important when you’re looking at data rather than anecdotal experiences.  

I remember how excited we were at the hospital when the COVID vaccine was delivered. I even took a video on my phone. It made a huge difference in the death rate we were seeing. And as soon as it was available, I got the COVID vaccine and all the boosters until the virus mutated enough to not really cause severe disease in most healthy people. I would still get it if it prevented COVID. But unlike what we thought at first, the COVID vaccine does not prevent COVID or the spread of COVID, just the severity of the disease, hospitalization, and death.  Not that that’s not important. 

The RSV vaccine is recommended for people age 60 and over. And there is a form of it that’s available for newborns who are at risk. 

Again, Tdap is recommended for pregnant women during every pregnancy and for anyone who’s going to care for the baby.  Vaccines in pregnancy, like flu and Tdap, are given later so that those maternal antibodies can help protect the baby when they’re too young to be vaccinated.  

I know, attitudes have really shifted about vaccines. I remember when I was in the second grade, they lined us up at school and shot us in the arm with the same air gun to vaccinate us against smallpox. Remember smallpox? That disease has literally been eradicated from the face of the earth by vaccines. We all got it at school, and I’m not even sure our parents knew we were going to get it, but my mom is an ardent supporter of vaccines. Wanna know why? In a word, surely. You see, she had a cousin who was in an iron lung at the age of 17 from polio. It was a dreaded disease and the vaccine was a huge victory against this debilitating illness.  

I guess people have a reason for believing what they believe. If you’ve seen devastation from an illness or from a vaccine, you’re gonna have strong feelings and rightfully so. I’ve seen what I’ve seen and you’ve seen what you’ve seen. So, please send me an email if you want to continue the conversation. But I think we can all agree, keep your germs to yourself, wash your hands, get some fresh air, don’t touch your face, and stay healthy. Because healthy looks great on you.

 

     The information contained in this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not considered to be a substitute for medical advice. You should continue to follow up with your physician or health care provider and take medication as prescribed. Though the information in this podcast is evidence based, new research may develop and recommendations may change.

RESOURCES:

Is it allergies?

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Gut Health, food and mood
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Preventing Cognitive Decline

Practical tips for caregivers and friends of people with dementia

How to prevent and reverse type 2 diabetes

Control your blood pressure

How to quit 

Sleep – the mood mechanic

Kickstart Healthy Habits in 7 Days

The deadly epidemic of loneliness

From loneliness to belonging

Which diet is healthiest? 

Every year, Christmas carols promise joy and magic. But for many people, they’re just soundtracks to the silent screams of stress.  Today, we’re turning those festive tunes into a real survival guide to take you from bah humbug to fa la la la la la la la la.

And it’s gonna be fun.

  I’m Dr.Vickie Petz Kasper. I’ll give you practical steps to start your own journey toward better health because healthy looks great on you.  

 Have yourself a merry little Christmas. You may be thinking, yeah right. There’s shopping, and eating, and staying up late, and people. People. Though connection is crucial, some people clearly belong on Santa’s naughty list. And they get seated right next to you at the dinner party.

Today, I’m going to give you a survival guide that will help you have a holly jolly Christmas this year. Because, even when you’re singing Joy to the World, all that rockin around the Christmas tree can turn into a big crash. And I’m not talking about Grandma getting run over by a reindeer. You know, that song is pretty disturbing if you think about it.

And while you might not be worried about a collision with a four legged beast with antlers, you probably can make a list of things that bring stress instead of comfort and joy. Let’s start with those weeks leading up to the holidays. I started decorating the day after Thanksgiving singing to myself, It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

When I put it back in the attic, I’ll sing, It’s beginning to look a knot like Christmas.  I know, I know, my kids would say, I just set off the corn o meter. Ding, ding, ding, ding.  But let’s face it, decorating and planning sets us up for festive fatigue right at the outset of the season.

Yes, of course, it’s the most wonderful time of the year and How’s that working to set unrealistic expectations? What happens if the illusion of everyone else having a blast only magnifies what you’re really feeling?  It’s a setup for disappointment. Like a kid who asked for a trampoline and got a history book for Christmas.

And speaking of Santa Claus coming to town, there’s some pressure. Gotta be good, or you’ll get a lump of coal in your stocking.  Do you hear what I hear?  Sometimes we hear sleigh bells ring ring ringing and jing jing jinging, but sometimes we hear snippy comments and conflict, all because I’ll be home for Christmas.

Which may involve travel, and frankly, being around people you don’t particularly like. Being pulled in so many directions you feel like a gingerbread man about to break apart.  If you missed the episode on navigating connections during the holidays, I really want you to meet my fictional Aunt Edna. She’s a hoot.

Now, if you’re like me, this year we’ve been dashing through the snow.  Actually, it’s been so warm we’ve rarely even worn a coat, and we don’t have a one horse open sleigh, but we do have a golf cart. But literally, my social calendar has been as full as Santa’s pack when he leaves the workshop. 

I’m an extrovert, so I love it. But, as a result, my sleep is off, I’ve gained three pounds from eating Christmas crack, and no, I am not going to share that recipe, and it’s not a whole food, and it’s not plant based,  and Jingle Bell Rock, it needs to happen at the gym, but honestly, I feel like I need to sleep in.

 This month is halfway over and there are only a few days left to finish my shopping. And silver bells sound like, Cha ching!  Cha ching!  Whether you’re braving crowds or surfing the internet to find the perfect gift for all the people in your family.

Your credit card is asking for at least one silent night.  And maybe you’re dreaming of a white Christmas, longing for days gone by when your stocking was full of walnuts and oranges. Things were simpler then. Nostalgia is sweet, but let’s face it, our minds tend to idealize the past and sometimes what we really need to do is let go and embrace the present. 

And speaking of presents, whether all you want for Christmas is your two front teeth or peace on earth, managing holiday stress is important. Now, you’ve already been to mini medical school and you know that stress causes increased cortisol levels, compromises your immune system, causes upset stomach, and disrupts your sleep. And that’s just the physical stuff.

Anxiety and depression symptoms increase, and the Polar Express brings emotional exhaustion with brain fog pumping out the smokestack.  If you missed the class on how stress increases your risk for cardiovascular disease and pretty much everything that you wouldn’t wish for, there’s a link in the show notes. 

But if you’re navigating complex family relationships, trying to avoid conflict and triggers, or Feeling social pressure to attend all the parties, or if you’re feeling left out by all the perfect celebrations on social media, or you have FOMO and you always say yes, plus you have to get up and go to work the next day, or if you’re feeling the financial strain of too much shopping, this is the episode for you. 

Since this is a lifestyle medicine podcast, let’s take a quick peek into the packages and see what lifestyle factors contribute to more holiday stress.  Unhealthy coping mechanisms.  Overindulgence in alcohol and unprocessed food, especially sugar, which increases inflammation and maybe just maybe that’s why your joints are hurting more.

Comfort eating. Don’t be like Santa and feel obligated to eat the cookies just because they’re on a plate in front of you. Avoiding exercise because you were up too late wrapping presents or watching Hallmark movies. And you know what that holiday mythology about perfect holidays can do? Set up unrealistic expectations.

The comparison trap is like the Grinch stealing the Christmas tree and comparison is the ultimate thief of joy.   Irregular sleep patterns because you’re reviewing your grocery list or your shopping list instead of dreaming of sugar plums dancing in your head. 

By the way, if you want to learn more about how to turn off your mind and turn on restorative sleep, then I have a free cheat sheet for you. There’s a link in the show notes. 

Another thing is poor boundary setting.

Some people just have difficulty saying no, so they overcommit. They’re the people pleasers. Any of that sound familiar to you? Well, here’s your holiday survival guide. We’re going to look at practical tips to keep you from turning into Scrooge. Let’s start with bills. No, not bells, bills. You know, electric bills, and mortgage payments, and gas, and groceries.

I just want to remind you, those bills aren’t going to take a holiday break, so Obviously, you don’t want to spend money that you need.  And let me tell you a story. One year before Christmas, I asked my kids to name their top three favorite gifts from the previous Christmas. Try it. See what kind of answers you get.

Most of the time, they can’t even name one. Unless we spend it on an experience, rather than a tangible gift. And I highly recommend that, but listen, experiences can be expensive. So, survival tip number one is, it helps to have a holiday spending budget.  You need an emotional budget too, but we’ll get to that in a bit.

First, finances. There are budgeting apps you can use, you can put those on your phone.  You might think about dividing your spending into categories and setting limits for each. And when it comes to gifts, remember, three was enough for Jesus, it’s enough for your little one too.

Or, if you want to splurge, use the four gift rule. Something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.  Let me give you some advice about a common mistake. Do you think that you have to spend the same amount on everyone?  Listen, this is a never ending merry go round of trying to even it up.

And I hope my kids are secure enough in our relationship to know that if I spend more on one than the other, it’s not a reflection of anything except that I only bought what I thought they really wanted.  And what about family gifts? You know how everyone money launders gift cards for all those teenage boys in your family?

It’s kind of silly and we quit doing it years ago. No gifts for anyone except immediate family and that has made the holiday season so much more enjoyable. We play games instead of exchanging gifts.  But if you think you can’t give it up completely, try some homemade gifts, like a scrapbook, homemade jelly, or if you’re handy with a hammer, maybe a birdhouse.

It’s so much more meaningful. And it won’t be forgotten by next year. Or maybe do a Santa gift exchange with a reasonable spending limit. Or if you really like each other, plan an experience together.   And if you need a small gift, you might want to buy my book, Dressing the Wound, Give Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness.

It’s a short book I wrote, and it’s available on Amazon for about 5. There’s a link in the show notes. Another idea is to donate to charity in someone’s name. Yes, it still costs money, but it takes the pressure off of searching for something for hours, spending money, and then wondering if they’re even going to like it. 

You could also give the gift of yourself and services. Offer to babysit or cook a meal.  Now, it’s a little late for this strategy, but it might help to start early and spread out your expenses over the year. Hey, you could even start right after Christmas this year and hit the sales for next year. One thing you need to watch for.

Sometimes you buy a little along the way and then you forget, so you buy more. So keep track of it.  And there are ways to save money. Often, if you’re shopping online, you can get discounts for signing up for their email list. Speaking of email list, are you on mine? If not, sign up and you’ll get a discount on the next podcast episode. 

Just kidding. The podcast is free for you, but I do have lots of bonuses for  subscribers.  Cashback programs. I use Rakuten. You can earn points by using a credit card and set it so that you pay it off automatically at the end of each month or you might end up spending more in interest and it’s a good way to get in over your head quickly. 

 Practice saying no to unnecessary spending and focus on meaningful connections over material gifts. But listen, give. There are so many people struggling to make Christmas happen for their kids and there are elderly people in nursing facilities who are in need.

 Christmas is a time to give a year end gift to missions, your church, or a charitable organization. It is truly more blessed to give than receive.  And in addition to a financial plan and budget, you need to manage your physical, mental, and emotional energy too.

And part of that involves navigating relationships and communication.  Can I just be honest for a sec?  I totally failed at this one this week. So, this advice, it’s for me. But, I suspect you could use it too. Tip number two for your holiday stress guide is set expectations. You know, blessed are those who expect nothing because they’re never disappointed.

Okay Eeyore, let’s just be realistic. We all have expectations and they can lead to more conflict. The goal is to set realistic expectations and to clearly communicate those expectations. In advance. This requires a conversation. You can do it on the phone, in person, or you might even try an email thread or a family group text to have a discussion in advance about expectations, limitations, and boundaries.

This needs to be non confrontational and the language should be neutral and collaborative.  Man, I wish I would have had this guide earlier this week.   After your better than I did discussion, send a follow up gentle reminder message outlining the plans you agreed on.

Provide context for your decisions and offer alternatives when possible. And once you’ve set realistic expectations, It’s time to establish boundaries. Be clear and be kind. Use I statements and explain your personal needs without blaming someone else. Remember, this isn’t a wish list for Santa’s elves.

This is trying to connect with the people you love. So provide rationale for your boundaries and again, offer compromise where appropriate.  None of this is a guarantee there won’t be conflict. So let’s look at some conflict resolution strategies.  Active listening techniques go a long way. When you’re listening, you need to look like you’re listening, and you need to act like you’re listening.

This is super important. Tip number three is communicate. Probably most of us have finished all of our Santa shopping only to hear our little darling declare that their most wanted Christmas wish wasn’t even on our radar. The problem with communication is making the mistake of thinking that it actually happened.

Learn to listen.  It helps to reflect, repeat back what you’ve heard, ask clarifying questions, show genuine interest and validate other people’s feelings with phrases like, I understand why this is important to you, I can see why you might feel that way, and your feelings are valid. Emotional intelligence comes into play, but everyone’s not playing on the same field.

So recognize your own underlying emotions and separate intent from impact you see, we tend to judge others by our intentions and then we judge others by their actions. Don’t assume you know what someone is thinking. Avoid defensive responses and practice empathy.  It takes practice. This doesn’t always work, so

if you do get into a difficult conversation, try to de escalate by maintaining a calm, soft voice without accusatory language. And if the tension really rises, take a break. Try to find common ground. Try to find a win win solution, but be willing to compromise and focus on preserving the relationship because that’s what really matters. 

Tip number four is budget your energy. Over commitment leads to overstressed.  Learn to say no, but do it politely. I appreciate the invitation, but I won’t be able to make it this year.  Now, let’s talk about physical well being. Tip number five. As much as possible, try to maintain your routine. Your routine for eating, sleeping, exercising, and managing stress.

I know, I know, trust me, I’ve seen the big hand on the six and the little hand on the ten twice as often as normal just this week. But, I’ve also felt the effects. Try to maintain your movement or exercise routine and don’t forget nutrition. Listen, the most important advice I can give you is start your meal with fiber.

It’s critical for gut health and it helps even if you’re going to eat those bacon wrapped crackers afterwards. And remember, sleep matters. Sleep hygiene can help unless you already suffer from insomnia. Then, maybe not so much. You’re going to want to stay tuned for the next series. It’s going to be on sleep. 

If you need a resource, visit my website and grab that tip sheet on how to turn off your mind.  All six pillars of lifestyle medicine have an impact on your holiday attitude. Let’s wind up this series with this focus on stress. And we’ve already discussed managing expectations and setting boundaries with your time and energy.

Now, let’s look at some practical tips for regulating your emotions. Tip number six. Since we’re using Christmas carols to frame this episode, how about singing to relieve stress and reset your mood? 

I’d like to read you a text I got from my son in law. With his permission, of course.   Hopefully this time I can read it without choking up. 

He was talking about his oldest son, my little grandson. And he said, we like to shut off all the lights, put the Christmas tree in the fireplace, and play Christmas songs. He asked me for a special one tonight. Not a Grinch one, lol. There’s one that stands out. It’s not catchy or particularly memorable, but my grandpa loved it.

He used to look like he was a thousand miles away when he played it on a vinyl record. He told me on Christmas Eve, 1944, he had gotten a letter that one of my grandma’s brothers, his future brother in law, was unaccounted for at the Battle of the Bulge.  Another brother was at Bastogne, with the 101st Airborne and the 3rd was in the Philippines.

His unit sat down to eat and this song played and they were all choked up.  Just a bunch of 20 something year olds trying to hide it. A few weeks later, he’d start prepping for D Day. Most of those men didn’t make it.  He said, oddly, Christmas was simpler, a reminder of God’s blessings. of family and home.  I thought of it last week and sat downstairs at your house one night and after everyone went to bed, listened to it. 

It was nice to be home with y’all. 

Okay, I got choked up a little,  but if you’re like me and you can’t sing, listen to music. And tip number seven is  remember to breathe.  There are some specific breathing exercises that help manage stress. The 4 7 8 breathing method where you inhale for four seconds.  Hold your breath for 7 seconds,  exhale slowly for 8 seconds. 

Repeat this if you’re feeling overwhelmed or do the box breathing technique where you inhale for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds. And you know what?

Even if you can’t hit the high notes of heavenly peace, sing anyway.  Tip number eight is read the Christmas story and meditate on its truths and pray.  And tip number nine is  practice gratitude. You want to know why we always recommend practicing gratitude?  Because gratitude equals contentment.

And I can hardly think of anything that alleviates the stress of the holidays more than contentment. Be content with the gifts you buy and content with the gifts you receive.  Love the home you have and all that is in it, including the people.  Accept the family you have. Not the family you wish they were.

When you don’t feel grateful, take a walk. God reveals his very self to us in nature, and that goes a long way in resetting your mindset.  

I hope you’ll follow me into the new year.

We’re going to start 2025 by focusing on a good night’s sleep,  but we’re going to keep focusing on all the pillars of lifestyle medicine. You are such a blessing to me. 

Tip number 10. Don’t get overwhelmed. Don’t overindulge, but don’t miss the moments. Keep Christmas simple. Sit on the stairs, turn off the lights, listen to music, but also embrace the opportunities.

 Like eating the toffee that my neighbor gave me yesterday. After all, it’s Christmas and managing expectations may mean making some exceptions. The bottom line is, stress is inevitable during the holidays. You cannot avoid it, but you can manage it. It’s a skill that can be learned, but like any skill, It takes repetition and practice.

So if you cry and pout, give yourself some grace because it is a wonderful life. Really? Because though there’s no miracle on 34th street, there is a miracle. That is the reason for the season. And don’t forget, that’s what we’re really celebrating.  The birth of Jesus brings perfect peace. He came to earth to do for us what we can’t do for ourselves.

So, hark the herald, angels sing, glory to the newborn king, peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled. Have a merry, healthy Christmas because healthy looks great on you.  

RESOURCES:

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Manage your stress

Stronger than stress

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Good food for good mood

Move for better mood

How alcohol, sugar and caffeine affect mood

Navigating connections during the holidays

From loneliness to belonging